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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28518513">Withered Wonder</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonderwalker/pseuds/sonderwalker'>sonderwalker</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Disaster Lineage (Star Wars), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s04e15 Deception, Fix-It, Gen, Human Lightning Rod Anakin Skywalker, Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Memory Loss, Post-Episode: s04e15 Deception, Whump, but it's sad at first, eventually</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:08:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,051</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28518513</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonderwalker/pseuds/sonderwalker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After watching Obi-Wan get shot on the rooftop on Coruscant, Anakin's life is in shambles. He's doing his best to hold everything together for Ahsoka's sake, but he can only pretend for so long.<br/>And it turns out that he was not the only person doing some pretending. But the truth is far darker, and more twisted than he ever anticipated. And when the truth is revealed, there will be a price to pay.  It turns out, that Anakin Skywalker, is a hero with many fears after all.<br/>If only he could remember them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anakin Skywalker &amp; Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; Anakin Skywalker &amp; Ahsoka Tano, Padmé Amidala &amp; Ahsoka Tano, Padmé Amidala &amp; Anakin Skywalker, Sheev Palpatine | Darth Sidious &amp; Anakin Skywaker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>179</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>269</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>another WIP!! yay!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first time Anakin had a panic attack since Obi-Wan had been shot, he didn’t think much of it. A part of his mind still clung to the image of Obi-Wan, lifeless in Ahsoka’s arms as she looked up at him, tears threatening to spill over. How he felt their bond shatter into a million pieces, and the accompanying loneliness that he felt.</p><p>But it was strange, the way that there still seemed to be embers of what was once a burning bond. It was still warm when Anakin tested the waters, reaching out to see if he could sense something, <em>anything.</em></p><p>He did. But he was afraid of what it meant.</p><p>They had been happening more often anyway, ever since he had gotten back from when Dooku had captured him on Naboo.</p><p>But the nightmares, the nightmares of hearing the shot echo throughout the nighttime air of Coruscant, the warning in the force, the rushing, hoping, praying that he wasn’t too late. That hadn’t happened since his mother had died. And just like with his mother, he was too late.</p><p>Anakin found himself sitting up in his bed, covered in a cold sweat and shaking. Heat pounding in his chest. Gasping for air, a hand clutching at his sleeping tunic because he needed it <em>off.</em> There was too much weight on his chest, and he couldn’t get enough air, and each time he closed his eyes, he saw Obi-Wan’s body fall from the rooftop and down onto the ground below.</p><p>Another gasp for air, his hands curled into fists as he tried to maintain his grip on his bed sheets, his tunic and on reality. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing away those scenes that played out over and over again behind his eyes. He opened them again, gasping for air when he realized that wouldn’t work. He looked over at his nightstand, at the chronometer that was showing him the time. But he couldn’t read it very well through his tears. He blinked again, his eyes moving towards a glass of water that was on the nightstand as well. With a shaking hand, he reached out and grabbed it, taking slow, tentative sips to stop himself from breathing so hard.</p><p>It was a technique he had figured out at the beginning of the war, and one that he was using more and more frequently as the war continued to drag on. But he wanted to be quiet, careful not to wake Ahsoka.</p><p>He placed the glass back down on the nightstand. His hands still shook so he moved carefully, not wanting to spill the water and then explain to Ahsoka why he was making so much noise in the middle of the night.</p><p>He rubbed his eyes again and checked the time. He had to be up again in four hours. He sighed, setting the glass back down on the table, doing his best to control his breathing. Just like how Obi-Wan had taught him. He wiped the tears from his eyes, sighing when he realized that he had only slept for three hours before being woken up again. But now, even though it was the dead of night, his body shook with adrenaline, and his chest ached with the fear that was slowly fading away. His heartbeat had calmed down, but not enough to where he could relax again. But he knew he needed to. Not for his sake, but for Ahsoka, who needed someone who wasn’t going to leave her. Wasn’t going to betray her trust and stay at her side no matter what. He had to be a good master for her.</p><p>He took another deep breath and curled his hands around the bedsheets. He needed to get a grip. He couldn’t afford to slip up. Ahsoka was counting on him.</p><p>Another breath in.</p><p>Everything was fine. It had to be.</p><hr/><p>When he woke up again that morning, he ran a hand over his face and sighed. His body ached for more sleep, but his thoughts wouldn’t leave him alone. He knew that he needed to get up, but his limbs and his heart were heavy. Anakin turned to watch as the morning light began to creep through the cracks in the blinds. It was still early- Ahsoka would still be sleeping and Anakin didn’t want to wake her. But he knew that he had to get up soon. The Chancellor had requested his presence for later in the morning. Mace had told Anakin to meet him in the afternoon for a sparring session. He was going to go with the archives with Ahsoka in the evening so she could get better at huttese.</p><p>Anakin rolled out of the bed and quickly got ready for the day. He opened his datapad his eyes skimming over messages that Rex had sent him about the troops. The words seemed to blur together.</p><p>Anakin blinked. It was probably eyestrain.</p><p>He walked into the kitchen and set the tablet down on their small kitchen table. After he turned on the caf maker, he looked at the cabinets. He could grab a ration bar. But he wasn’t hungry. He was tired, and he couldn’t afford to be tired. But when he went to go put sugar into his drink, his hands shook again, and he spilled sugar onto the counter.</p><p>He brushed it into the sink. It was probably from last night. He didn’t think much about it.</p><p> </p><p>By the time he made it down to the hangar, his hand had stopped shaking. But the hangar seemed louder and busier than normal. It was slightly disorienting, but Anakin didn’t stop to think about it. He needed to be on time for this meeting with the Chancellor. He knew that he should be honored to be held in such high regard by such a powerful man. And he wanted to show that he respected that- especially now when he needed guidance more than ever.</p><p>He hoped into the driver’s seat of the speeder and started the engine. His hands were steady when he gripped the yoke. Always a good sign.</p><p>He pulled out of the hangar and sped off towards the senate building.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Anakin, my boy.” The Chancellor said, spreading his arms as Anakin walked into the room.</p><p>“It is so good to see you.” He continued, placing a hand on Anakin’s shoulder, and squeezing it.</p><p>“After I heard about what had happened to Master Kenobi, I-“The Chancellor hesitated.</p><p>“I figured that you would like someone to talk to about it.”</p><p>Anakin nodded his head and bit his lip. “I appreciate your concern, your excellency.” He replied, trying his best to ignore the anger that was rising within him.</p><p>“The past few days have been… intense.” Anakin said and sighed.</p><p>“Have you spoken to anyone else?” The Chancellor asked, moving away from Anakin to sit in his chair.</p><p>Anakin shook his head. “No one really seems to want to speak to me.”</p><p>“Well, aside from my padawan that is.” He added on.</p><p>“Oh?” The Chancellor said, sounding surprised. “I would have thought that the order would have wanted to do their best to care for their members when they are grieving.”</p><p>Anakin shrugged, his brow furrowing. “Perhaps, with the war going on… there isn’t as much time to grieve.” He replied softly.</p><p>“Perhaps, but that isn’t an excuse to not care for each other.” The Chancellor responded.</p><p>“What about your padawan?” He asked Anakin.</p><p>Anakin sighed again. “She has been spending more time with Master Plo as everything unfolds.”</p><p>“Are they close?” The Chancellor asked. Anakin nodded.</p><p>“Very.”</p><p>“Hmmm, perhaps she has gone out to seek additional guidance.” The Chancellor noted, hiding his smile when he saw Anakin flinch at the statement.</p><p>“She typically would speak to Obi-Wan as well, but with everything that happened…” Anakin trailed off, biting his lip, and willing the tears to stay back. He looked down at the floor.</p><p>“Of course.” The Chancellor replied quickly. “It is only natural for her to seek additional guidance, as it is for you to be upset, Anakin.”</p><p>Anakin looked back up at him. “But the Jedi warn us about such things.” He began. “How our emotions can consume us if we are not careful.”</p><p>The Chancellor sighed and stood up from his seat, turning to look out of the massive windows behind him. “This may be true, but everyone experiences these feelings.” He turned to face Anakin, his face cast in a shadow.</p><p>“And it is your feelings, Anakin, that make you so special.”</p><p>Anakin couldn’t help the swell of pride that filled him. While he didn’t think he was special, he knew that he needed someone to listen without judging. He needed someone that would tell him what he wanted to hear. And the Chancellor always seemed to be on his side.</p><p>He sighed.</p><p>“I just don’t- I don’t want Ahsoka to have to go through this.” Anakin mumbled, looking up and watching the speeders pass.</p><p>“She doesn’t deserve it.” He continued, looking back down again.</p><p>“Your padawan seems like a resilient child.” The Chancellor noted, turning to watch the speeders pass again. “I am sure that you have nothing to worry about, so long as you are able to continue being her master.”</p><p>The guilt was back, eating at Anakin’s heart as he blinked back more tears. He wouldn’t do what Obi-Wan had done. He wasn’t going to have Ahsoka hold his body like how she held Obi-Wan’s. Anakin took a deep breath in, doing his best to calm his emotions, the sound of a ringing comm pulling him out of his thoughts.</p><p>“Chancellor, Senator Chuchi is here to discuss communication reforms with you.” A voice said from the speaker. The Chancellor moved over to his desk and pressed a button.</p><p>“Excellent, send her in.” The Chancellor replied, and then looked back up at Anakin.</p><p>“Think about what I have said, Anakin.” The Chancellor said.</p><p>“I will, your excellency.” Anakin replied, bowing his head before leaving the office.</p><hr/><p>The second time Anakin had a panic attack, it was shortly after he returned to his quarters. He had been thinking about what the Chancellor had told him, his mind always coming back to Obi-Wan. Seeing his body fall from the rooftop. The way Ahsoka held him up in her arms, tears spilling over as she tried her best not to cry.</p><p>He hardly remembered the speeder ride over. He hardly remembered walking through the halls of the temple. He hardly remembered entering his quarters, the door to his room sliding shut behind him.</p><p>All he could think about was how his heart was pounding in his chest so much it hurt. All he could think about was how he couldn’t get enough air. All he could think about was how his body shook with tremors. All he could think about was the fear that was rising through his body, circling through his heart.</p><p>Anakin ran his hands through his hair, gripping his curls so tightly it hurt. But the pain didn’t ground him, and he continued to gasp for air, tears now streaming down his face. He sat down roughly on the edge of the bed, doing his best to calm himself. Doing his best to focus on the things that he had leaned. Keeping his shields high so that he didn’t bother anyone else- especially Ahsoka.</p><p>The things that Obi-Wan taught him.</p><p><em>‘Control your breathing, padawan.’</em> How many times had he heard that? But when he thought of Obi-Wan in that way, it helped.</p><p>Until the sorrow came back again, and Anakin sobbed.</p><hr/><p>Anakin looked at himself in the mirror removing his gloves and turning on the water. A flushed face, with bloodshot eyes and dark circles underneath them stared back at him. He looked down and splashed some water in his face.</p><p>He looked back up, the only difference now being that his bangs were wet. He splashed more water into his face and then turned the water off before drying himself off. He lowered the towel and looked at himself again. Less flushed, his eyes not as bloodshot as before. But the dark circles remained.</p><p>Although, they had already been there for quite some time. Anakin turned out the light and walked back out of the fresher, heading towards the hanger to meet Ahsoka.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Master!” Ahsoka called out. Anakin looked over at her and sped up slightly. The hangar was as busy as usual, with troops and Jedi moving about. She was leaning against her starfighter, her working googles pushed up so that they rested on her forehead.</p><p>“What took you so long?” She asked as he walked over. Anakin shrugged.</p><p>“Meeting with the Chancellor… took longer than I thought it would.” Anakin replied sheepishly. He was pretty sure that Ahsoka didn’t buy his answer, but she didn’t say anything, and just passed him a pair of goggles.</p><p>“Ready to get to work?” She asked as she pulled her pair of goggles back over her eyes.</p><p>“Where’s R2?” Anakin asked, looking around with his goggles still in his hand.</p><p>“R2?” Ahsoka questioned as she looked around.</p><p>“I haven’t seen him.” She said while frowning.</p><p>“R2?” Anakin called out, looking around as well. They both turned as they heard several beeps heading towards them.</p><p>“There you are little guy!” Ahsoka exclaimed. She pushed herself off of her starfighter and went over to rest her hand on R2’s dome.</p><p>“Ready to get to work with us?” She asked. R2 whistled.</p><p>“That sounds like a ‘yes’ to me.” Anakin said with a slight smile as he put his own goggles on.</p><p> </p><p>“Aren’t you hungry, master?” Ahsoka asked as she passed him a wrench.</p><p>“No, why?” Anakin asked between grunts as he tried to tighten down several bolts.</p><p>“We’ve been working for several hours.” Ahsoka replied. “And I’m pretty hungry.” She added on sheepishly.</p><p>“You’re always hungry, Snips.”</p><p>“Yeah, well I don’t see you gaining several centimeters of height every month either.” She replied as she rolled her eyes.</p><p>“Good point.” Anakin said as he lowered the wrench and looked at her.</p><p>“So, are we heading back to our quarters or not?” She asked after neither of them moved.</p><p>R2 beeped from behind them.</p><p>“That’s not true!” Anakin said, turning his head to look at the droid.</p><p>“Yes, it is!” Ahsoka exclaimed. “You <em>always</em> forget to eat, Skyguy!”</p><p>“Not always!” He replied, looking back at Ahsoka.</p><p>“More often than anyone else I know.” She muttered as she stood up from underneath the ship.</p><p>“Hey!” Anakin exclaimed, standing up as well. “I’m not forgetting right now; we were just talking about it!”</p><p>“We started talking about it, because <em>I</em> brought it up.” Ahsoka said as she crossed her arms over her chest and smiled at him.</p><p>Anakin groaned. “Ugh, fine. Whatever. Let’s go.” He said as he pushed his goggles up so that they were now resting on his forehead.</p><p>“We’ll be back later, R2!” Ahsoka said as she waved goodbye.</p><hr/><p>“Whatcha doing?” Ahsoka asked as she watched Anakin take out different things from the cabinets in their kitchen.</p><p>“Gonna bake something.” He replied as he set the stuff down on the counter. Ahsoka wrinkled her nose.</p><p>“You know I can’t eat some kinds of flour master.” She said as she watched him.</p><p>“Don’t worry Snips.” Anakin replied. “I made sure to get something that even the pickiest torgruta wouldn’t say no to.</p><p>“Hey!” Ahsoka exclaimed. “I’m not that picky!”</p><p>“Could have fooled me.” Anakin replied with a shrug as he began to remove his gloves.</p><p>“Well, don’t let me keep you.” Ahsoka muttered as she began to walk away.</p><p>“Where are you going?” Anakin asked, tilting his head back.</p><p>“Gonna study!” She called back. Anakin heard the door to her quarters open and close behind her, and he was now alone again.</p><hr/><p>The third time he had a panic attack, it was during the day. Not at night, after a nightmare when he could usually hide it, but during the day. In the kitchen, where he had been trying to make dough. Kneading it, folding it over in his hands, as his mind wandered, never in one place for too long.</p><p>He hadn’t been thinking about Obi-Wan though. He couldn’t even remember what he was thinking about. He was currently thinking about the pounding in his chest, the sinking feeling in his stomach, the way his lungs screamed for more air, more air. He was dizzy, disoriented, gripping the countertop of the kitchen as he tried to ground himself again. But it wasn’t working. He numbly realized through the fog that he was going to throw up, and quickly ran on shaking limbs to the fresher, locking himself in. He didn’t want Ahsoka to see him like this. Everything had to be fine for her. He sat back on the tile floor, wiping his mouth and sighing. Not bothering to get up, he used the force to flush everything away, and sat there, his head between his knees as he breathed deeply.</p><p>That was another trick he had begun using more. But it didn’t ease the pain in his chest, or the way his stomach still turned even after he emptied it.</p><p>He heard a quiet knock on the door. Anakin sighed and looked up at it, contemplating if he should say anything at all or wait until they left.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>shorter than usual, but still important</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>please note that the tags for this story have been updated!! <br/>It is very important that you read the new tags!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Let’s stop here,” Anakin suggested as they pulled the speeder up towards a diner. It didn’t look as nice as Dex’s but there was something on his mind, something that he needed to sort out.</p><p>The engine slowed to a stop, leaving him and Ahsoka sitting in silence before the hatch opened, and the air from the night and all of its sounds rushed towards them</p><p>“How come?” Ahsoka asked as she slid out of the passenger side.</p><p>“I’m hungry,” Anakin said while shrugging.</p><p>“And I’m tired of only eating rations all of the time.” Ahsoka looked up at him with a slight smirk, knowing that was everything.</p><p>They walked towards the doors and stepped to the side as a group of children quickly rushed past them, out into the night of Coruscant.</p><p>“Get back here!” They heard an old man yell, and Ahsoka and Anakin turned to see how was yelling, watching as he chased the children- at a considerably lower pace.</p><p>“Well… that was interesting.” Ahsoka said as she looked up at Anakin before walking inside.</p><p>“Let’s just sit down,” Anakin replied while rolling his eyes.</p><p>They made their way to a booth, but instead of engaging with their usual banter, the thing that had been nagging Anakin earlier had grown more intense. He couldn’t place the feeling, other than that something was wrong.</p><p>Something was both very wrong, and very right and he didn’t know what.</p><p>“Two cups of caf, please.” He heard Ahsoka request as he continued to stare out of the window.</p><p>The sounds of the diner blurred around him, as Anakin imeresed himself deeper into the force, looking for the source of this feeling, and when he found it, he frowned.</p><p>It was his bond with Obi-Wan. He had felt it snap, but now there were tendrils of life at the other end.</p><p>A cup of cap was placed in front of him. He didn’t move.</p><p>He pressed further into the bond, further into the force, his frown growing and his heart hammering in his chest. Not wanting to think that it was true. Not wanting to give himself that hope.</p><p>“Master,” Ahsoka said, resting her hand on his arm.</p><p>“Master?” She asked, but Anakin didn’t respond, instead he continued to stare at his cup, watching as the steam rose from it, his eyes far, far away.</p><p>“Anakin?”</p><p>“He’s alive,” He whispered, watching as the steam from his cup vanished before his eyes.</p><p>“Who?” Ahsoka asked, clearly confused.</p><p>“Obi-Wan, he’s alive. I don’t know how, I don’t know why but our-“Anakin broke off, looking up from the cup and at Ahsoka.</p><p>“You sensed him?” She asked, her eyes wide, and he could feel the hope that she felt as well through the force.</p><p>He really hoped that he wasn’t lying to her.</p><p>“I did, Ahsoka I don’t know where he is or what he’s doing but-“</p><p>“He’s alive.” Ahsoka repeated simply, a dazed grin spreading over her face and she sat back in her seat.</p><p>“You really sensed him?” She asked as she leaned forward again.</p><p>Anakin nodded, biting his lip as to not betray the immediate anger at the realization that Obi-Wan had faked his death.</p><p>“But then… wouldn’t this mean he faked his death? That he lied to us?” Ahsoka asked as she furrowed her brows.</p><p>“Why would he lie to us, Master?” Ahsoka asked, her voice cracking.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Anakin replied, holding his head in his hands.</p><p>“I don’t know what he was thinking.” He whispered as more tears began to fall, the rage and the sorrow of his heart blending together.</p><p>But he had to be strong for Ahsoka. He had to be alright for Ahsoka.</p><hr/><p>It was that night, when Anakin lay awake watching as the speeders pass by in his bedroom window at the temple that he decided that perhaps he should see a healer.</p><p>Not that he wanted to admit that something was wrong, nothing was wrong with him as far as Ahsoka and Padme were concerned. Although she had been wondering why he hadn’t come to see her, and Anakin had been brushing it off by saying that he was busy with everything that was going on.</p><p>And he was.</p><p>There was a large hole left where Obi-Wan was, and Anakin was doing his best with trying to cope. Trying to be a good master to Ahsoka, despite the fact that he felt as though he could fall apart at any moment and start sobbing, never stopping.</p><p>And while his first instinct had been to go after the supposed killer- right after he had gathered himself enough to be able think through the despair and grief that consumed him, he didn’t.  </p><p>And it wasn’t because he didn’t want to- he wanted revenge, he wanted to hunt down who did this and bring them to justice.</p><p>And when he realized that it had been a lie, that Obi-Wan was alive the entire time, he wanted to do nothing more but hop into the nearest ship and hunt him down, reach out into the force and search for him until he found him.</p><p>But there was something else stopping him.</p><p>Maybe it was the way that Ahsoka looked at him, the way that she seemed to cling to him now more than before. Maybe it was because the council seemed to be treating him differently.  Maybe because there was something wrong with him- they way his body would shake and tremble, even if he weren’t cold. The way that his heart would feel as though it was going to burst from his chest, and he would bite his lip so hard it bled to stop himself from crying out in pain.</p><p>Maybe it was because something was wrong with him.</p><p>But of course, there was something wrong with him, and if they’re hadn’t been, then Obi-Wan would still be here with them.</p><p>But he wasn’t.</p><p>And Anakin was alone, determined to make the best deicisions for himself and Ahsoka now that he was gone. To be the good Jedi that Obi-Wan always thought that he was, no matter how hard that may seem.</p><p>He wanted to show that he was capable, that he could handle it.</p><p>But whatever was going on with him, the way that he would continue to shake even wrapping the covers tightly around him, he couldn’t handle on his own.</p><p>He clenched his jaw, focusing on the speeders, and now the way that his hands seemed to shake as they gripped the covers. </p><hr/><p>“You should be more careful, Skywalker,” Master Che told him as she walked into the room, holding a datapad in one hand and frowning at it.</p><p>Anakin sighed and felt his shoulders sag slightly. “I know, I know.”</p><p>“I am serious- this kind of damage can become permanent if you aren’t careful.” She replied sternly.</p><p>“Electrocution can even cause you to develop amnesia, should you be exposed enough.”</p><p>“Well, it wasn’t my idea to have all of our enemies keep electrocuting me,” He muttered as he looked away, staring at the while floor beneath his feet.</p><p>“I know,” She said softly, causing Anakin to look back up at her.</p><p>“None of us chose this, but it’s the path that we have been given, and we have to work with what we have.”</p><p>“And I can imagine that… these last few weeks have been rough for you.”</p><p>Anakin didn’t know what to say, or if he could say anything without crying, so he settled for nodding instead.</p><p>“I would advise that you take the next week or so off, just to recover, but I also understand that you have been assigned for another mission.” She said wearily.</p><p>“There aren’t enough Jedi,” Anakin replied looking back up at her.</p><p>“I know,” and Vokara sighed.</p><p>“It shouldn’t be that bad, Master, it’s just extra security for the Festival of Lights on Naboo.” Anakin said with a shrug.</p><p>“That’s not what I’m worried about,” She replied softly, looking at Anakin with eyes that were a little too sad for his liking.</p><p>“Then… what are you talking about?” He asked while frowning.</p><p>“I’m talking about you, Skywalker.” She said as she leaned forward.</p><p>“I’m fine.” Anakin repeated, almost as if it were a mantra at this point.</p><p>“You’re a horrible liar,” She crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“But I see that I cannot keep you here, so you may go.” She said after a moment, dropping her arms down towards her sides.</p><p>Anakin quickly hopped off of the examination table, almost rushing to reach the door to leave.</p><p>“But be careful, Skywalker.” He heard her say on his way out.</p><hr/><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“We have a new assignment for you, Skywalker,” Mace said as Anakin entered the briefing room, his cloak billowing out behind him as he descended down the steps towards where the holotable was.</p><p>“What kind of assignment?” Anakin asked as he approached, eager to finally get out of the temple.</p><p>There were too many ghosts here, banging around in their quarters and inside of his head. He needed a distraction.</p><p>“The Chancellor and Senator Amidala will be traveling to Naboo for the Festival of Lights,” Mace explained.</p><p>“And we would like you and Padawan Tano to be a part of the security detail. Both the Chancellor and Senator Amidala requested you.”</p><p>“When do we leave?” Anakin asked eagerly, trying to ignore the way that his face seemed to heat up at the feeling of being wanted by those who had stuck by him for this entire ordeal.</p><p>Although, he did have to hide the fact that he already knew that Padme had done this, she had told him last night when he had gone over to see her. It had been the first time in a while, even though Anakin was on Coruscant. With Obi-Wan gone, he wanted to leave the temple more than ever, but the guilt at leaving Ahsoka behind, by herself in their quarters was even larger, so he stayed.</p><p>“We will be leaving in a few hours,” Mace said, eyeing Anakin warily.</p><p>“Is something on your mind, Skywalker?” He asked after a tense moment of silence, and Anakin quickly shook his head.</p><p>“No, nothing.” Anakin said before bowing and turning to leave.</p><hr/><p>“Don’t worry, milady!” Ahsoka said with a grin on her face.</p><p>“We’ll be sure to keep you and the Chancellor safe, isn’t that right, Skyguy?” She asked, looking up at him.</p><p>“Of course,” Anakin replied and nodded, trying to ignore the worry that was eating away inside of him. Ahead, he could see Mace speaking to someone on his comm, his expression grim, his body language tense.</p><p>That didn’t help to ease his mind.</p><p>“Well, I’m sorry that the festival has to happen under such… tense circumstances,” Padme replied.</p><p>“But I am glad that you are both here to witness it. It’s my favorite time of year, and I couldn’t think of anywhere else I would want to spend it except for here.” Padme continued with a wistful expression on her face.</p><p>“My lady,” a handmaiden said as she approached the three of them.</p><p>“The queen is requesting your presence,” she said, and Padme smiled at Anakin sheepishly.</p><p>“Well, I guess I better get going,” she said as she turned to walk away, Ahsoka following behind her.</p><p>“Don’t do anything reckless, Snips!” Anakin called out after her, and Ahsoka turned back and gave her a classic grin.</p><p>That didn’t help his nerves either.</p><hr/><p>“You look horrible,” Anakin noted as he walked beside Obi-Wan.</p><p>Well, he didn’t look like Obi-Wan, he looked like the bounty hunter that Obi-Wan was supposed to be impersonating. But in the force, it was Obi-Wan, and despite the anger in his heart at what he had done, Anakin was relishing in the fact that their bond was alive again.</p><p>The number of thoughts that were running through his head was so large that he didn’t think he could count them all even if he had the time. His strange suspicious, the feeling that something was wrong, even though everything had gone correctly.</p><p>The Chancellor was safe. They had captured the bounty hunters. Dooku was nowhere to be found.</p><p>But when Mace had revealed who Bane had really been working with the entire time- no one other than Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi himself, he became furious. And Anakin couldn’t blame him.</p><p>And although Anakin didn’t swear revenge on the Jedi Order as a result, his perspective on the institution had shifted, and not for the better.</p><p>But he didn’t know who he should have been angry at. The council for the mission? Obi-Wan for taking it? Himself for not being a better Jedi? Letting his emotions get in the way?</p><p>He wasn’t sure, but the anger was still there, brewing just underneath the surface.</p><p>“Not that you look any better, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, looking at Anakin with a frown.</p><p>It was strange, because had that been Obi-Wan’s face, the expression wouldn’t have looked as foreign, as strange. Anakin’s shoulders slumped as they walked together on the landing platform, mirroring the same way that they had at this exact same spot over ten years ago on Naboo.</p><p>It was strange, and it was sad, and Anakin didn’t know if he wanted to scream in rage or break down and sob. So, he opted for neither and instead tightly clasped his hands behind his back.</p><p>“I thought you were dead,” he whispered, looking straight ahead instead of at Obi-Wan.</p><p>“That was the plan,” Obi-Wan replied without any emotion in his voice.</p><p>They stopped walking, and Anakin turned to face him his brow furrowed.</p><p>“You lied to me! And you lied to Ahsoka, and the council as well as-” Anakin began, his voice steadily rising.</p><p>“It was the Chancellor who requested I be the one who took on the mission!” Obi-Wan snapped back.</p><p>Anakin blinked several times, his posture shrinking as he pieced together what Obi-Wan had said.</p><p>And then Obi-Wan watched as Anakin turned and walked away without another word.</p><p>His first instinct was to go after him, to grab his hand and have Anakin try to see his reasoning. But he knew that there were some things that he needed to do on his own. Some things that Anakin needed to learn on his own. And some things that Obi-Wan needed to learn on his own as well.</p><p><em>“Your attachment to Skywalker blinds you,”</em> he had been warned all of those years ago. But he had done his duty, at the expense of his relationship with Anakin.</p><p>So why did it feel so wrong? Why couldn’t he shake the feeling of dread, of anticipation that something, <em>something was wrong. </em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Anakin ran through the halls of the palace, his heart beating loudly in his ears as his footsteps pounded against the stone floor.</p><p>They had been fooled, the entire time. Dooku was here, and he was waiting for them.</p><p>Had Dooku figured out that Obi-Wan was disguised? Anakin didn’t want to think that Obi-Wan’s mission seemed to be in vain, but the fact that the Chancellor had been kidnapped anyway…</p><p>His anger only led him to run even faster, determined to show that some people didn’t have to betray their friends in order to get the job done.</p><p>He could get it done, and keep his relationships intact too, because he was Anakin Skywalker, The Hero With No Fear.</p><p>Anakin quickly rounded a corner, and spotted several magna guards ahead, walking into another room.</p><p>“Chancellor!” Anakin cried out as he spotted the old man between the droids.  </p><p>“Unhand me at once!” The Chancellor demanded as he was pushed along by the droids.</p><p>A new burst of adrenaline rushed through Anakin’s veins as he sprinted down the corridor towards where the Chancellor was being pushed into.</p><p>“Dooku,” Anakin snarled, igniting his saber once he saw the Sith lord at the other end of the room.</p><p>Dooku sat at the end of a long dining table that had gold cutlery resting on it. The chairs and table were made out of a dark wood, and the chairs had high backs with ornate designs.</p><p>“It is wonderful of you to join us, Skywalker,” Dooku said with a smile as he stood up.</p><p>His golden eyes glinted in the dark light of the room, illuminated only by smaller lamps that hung off of the walls. The guards pulled the Chancellor off to the side, hiding his face in the shadows of the room and crossing their staffs in front of him.</p><p>Anakin rushed forward, his blade ignited and Dooku ignited his as well. The air between them was electric, the Force vibrating with the energy and heat of the battle as Anakin began to close in on the sith lord, dodging knives and forks that were thrown his way.</p><p>When he finally made it up to Dooku, he swung downward, using the momentum from his movements to keep on hitting with aggressive swings. But Dooku only smiled as he began to block every single one of them, slowly backing away from Anakin and towards the Chancellor.</p><p>Once Dooku had put enough space between them again, he lifted up more cutlery from the table using the Force, sending knives across the room at Anakin, who raised his right arm to shield them from his face.</p><p>And then ripped them out of the prosthetic, advancing forward as he did so.</p><p>Dooku’s smile had now morphed into a frown, as he lifted a chair with the Force.</p><p>But Anakin was just as fast, running his blade through the chair, the air smelling of burnt wood and fabric as he continued to press through it, forcing his blade closer and closer to Dooku’s face.</p><p>Sensing this, Dooku threw the chair across the room, and Anakin yanked his blade out. But now, the count’s frown had turned into a sneer as he nodded his head at the guards who began to push the Chancellor out of the room.</p><p>Anakin watched as they did so, then his eyes changed to look at Dooku again, who was standing between them.</p><p>His breath was coming in short and heavy pants, his body vibrating with the energy that the adrenaline was giving him, the heat of the battle, a battle that he wasn’t even supposed to be fighting, if everything had gone to plan.</p><p>If Dooku hadn’t done this, then there wouldn’t have been any reason for Obi-Wan to fake his death. For him to use Anakin’s reaction to fake his death.</p><p>And things would still be the way that they were before.</p><p>“Your thoughts betray you, Skywlaker,” Dooku said as they stepped out into the hallway again, his voice echoing off of the stained glass and cold stone.</p><p>“Release the Chancellor!” Anakin demanded as they continued onward.</p><p>“Or what? What will you do, <em>boy?</em>” Dooku snarled, and Anakin lunged forward again, his rage fueling him as he swung downward at Dooku over and over.</p><p>They stumbled up the steps, Anakin’s swinging growing more and more violent, the sound of their blades hitting together echoing across the hall. Now, it was Anakin’s turn to snarl as he swung again, and kicked Dooku’s legs out from underneath him, pinning him to the staircase as he swung his blade down again, getting ready to hold Dooku in a choke hold.</p><p>“Anakin!” Obi-Wan’s voice called out from behind.</p><p>Anakin looked up and away, turning to face Obi-Wan who was rushing forward, his blade also ignited.</p><p> </p><p>And it was in that moment, when Anakin turned away, that Dooku smiled, raising his hands and blasting Anakin with electricity. He screamed, his back arching and fingers curling as Dooku was relentless.</p><p>Dooku threw him down the stairs, towards the ground at Obi-Wan’s feet where he didn’t move after that.  </p><p> </p><p>“I would have hoped that you would have been able to control your apprentice better, Kenobi,” Dooku said as he stood at the top of the stairs, the Chancellor behind him with a mixed expression on his face.</p><p>Obi-Wan didn’t look down, didn’t look at Anakin as he advanced forward. He couldn’t afford the distraction.</p><p>He stepped over Anakin, and continued up the stairs, knowing that Mace was going to meet them at the other end of the hallway.</p><p>“Anakin is capable of making his own decisions,” Obi-Wan said calmly, even though he felt anything but calm.</p><p>His ears were ringing with a warning from the Force, and he figured that the warning was standing right in front of him.</p><p>“Perhaps, but then again,” Dooku said as he raised his saber.</p><p>“Perhaps not.”</p><p>He lunged forward, and Obi-Wan blocked and blocked, hoping that Mace would show up soon to take care of the Chancellor.</p><p>“This is over, Dooku,” Mace said from behind them, his blade ignited as he began to take on the guards that stood in front of the Chancellor.</p><p>More people came, the guards of the palace and quickly escorted the Chancellor away from the fight scene, but Obi-Wan didn’t pay them much mind.</p><p>The two Jedi masters made quick work of the droids and were successfully pushing Dooku further and further back until they reached the hangar, memories of a duel from a long time ago running through Obi-Wan’s mind.</p><p>But he needed to stay focused, in the present, and continue pushing Dooku back.</p><p>Pushing him back until they were standing on a ramp for a ship- Dooku’s ship.</p><p>“Surprised?” Dooku asked, looking between the two of them.</p><p>The engine for the ship began to grow louder, and Obi-Wan and Mace looked at each other before jumping off of the ramp, watching as the count’s ship ascended into Naboo’s atmosphere.</p><p>Now that the rush of adrenaline was fading away, Obi-Wan noticed that the warning from the Force from before was still there, even if the threat seemed to be gone.</p><p>He looked at Mace.</p><p>“Where’s Anakin?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Where’s Anakin?” Obi-Wan asked again as more of the royal guard came forward, scanning the crowd as he looked for a familiar Jedi knight.</p><p>“We… we don’t know, we thought he was with you,” Captain Panaka explained frowning as he realized that Obi-Wan was right- Anakin was no where to be found.</p><p>“He’s been taken to the medical wing,” another guard replied.</p><p>“Someone- someone found him in the hallway, unconscious and unresponsive.”</p><p>Obi-Wan felt his heart sink down into his stomach. Unresponsive? He knew that Dooku had blasted Anakin with lightning, but it wasn’t as if Anakin hadn’t bene through worse before or hadn’t been electrocuted before.</p><p>Did something happen that he missed? Obi-Wan turned to look at Mace.</p><p>“Unresponsive?” Mace asked, frowning at the royal guard.</p><p>“How long ago was this?”</p><p>“Dooku electrocuted him when we were pursing him,” Obi-Wan explained as he tried not to dwell on the feeling of guilt that was starting to surround his heart.</p><p>“Anakin had collapsed after the shock, but I had kept running, in hopes that I would have been able to capture Dooku,” Obi-Wan explained, the tone of his voice bitter, wondering for a moment, if he should have stayed behind with Anakin instead.</p><p>But he needed to get Dooku- the Republic needed to have its Chancellor, and the chancellor was now safe, and meeting with the queen.</p><p>“Well,” Mace sighed and crossed his hands over his chest.</p><p>He looked more exhausted than Obi-Wan could ever remember.</p><p>“That answers our question.”</p><hr/><p>“Obi-Wan,” Padme said as she stood from the chair that she was sitting in.</p><p>The room was quiet- even though both Ahsoka and Anakin were in there as well, Ahsoka had fallen asleep, resting her head on Anakin’s bed.</p><p>And Anakin lay there, unmoving, his eyes still closed, his heart still beeping.</p><p>“She must be exhausted,” Obi-Wan noted, looking at Ahsoka.</p><p>“She is, but she was elated to find out that you were alive,” Padme replied as she turned to look at Ahsoka as well.</p><p>“As am I.” Padme said as she turned back to face Obi-Wan again, but he caught a bitter note in her voice.</p><p>“And Anakin?” Obi-Wan asked.</p><p>Padme bit her lip and shrugged. “It’s hard to say, the doctors don’t seem to have a good timeframe for when he’ll wake up.”</p><p>“It could be in a few hours, or in a few days.” She let out a shaky breath and turned to look back at Anakin, wrapping her arms tightly around her body.</p><p>“Padme,” Obi-Wan whispered, looking at Anakin instead.</p><p>“There’s nothing you can do- nothing that either of us can do,” Obi-Wan pointed out and she nodded.</p><p>“You’re right. I just thought that for once-“her voice broke and she stopped talking for a moment, taking another deep breath before continuing.</p><p>“I thought that for once we would all come out of this okay, and we could sit down and catch up and think about anything but the war,” she bit her lip and then laughed softly, ignoring the bitter taste of her lipstick.</p><p>“Ahsoka had been asking me to keep teaching her how to play sabacc so that she could beat Anakin one day.”</p><p>“Well, both you and he are absolute menaces at that game,” Obi-Wan pointed out.</p><p>“Anakin says you taught him,” Padme replied softly, looking at Obi-Wan with a hint of a smile.</p><p>“I did,” Obi-Wan confirmed.</p><hr/><p>“The doctors think that Anakin might do better if he’s moved back to the temple,” Padme explained the following day as Obi-Wan, who was now in his Jedi robes again, and Ahsoka stood in front of her.</p><p>Behind her was Anakin, on the same bed as before, looking the same as he did before.</p><p>“Perhaps,” Obi-Wan agreed.</p><p>“There is more specialized equipment there, and the familiar setting might do him some good,” he pointed out.</p><p>“When are we leaving?” Ahsoka asked, looking up from Anakin and at Obi-Wan and Padme.</p><p>“And how are they gonna move him with all of this equipment?”</p><p>“There should be a team moving in here shortly to take care of that,” Padme said, and then the door to the room opened again and several people walked in.</p><p>“My lady,” they all greeted, bowing slightly before continuing to fan out in the room.</p><p>“There is no need for any of you to worry, we will make sure that he is in good hands,” an older woman said as she walked over to a screen that was by the edge of the bed and began to type something on it.</p><p>“We appreciate your effort,” Padme replied with a soft smile, putting on the mask of a queen, a senator, someone regal and important, instead of a worried woman, looking at the unconscious body of her husband before her.</p><hr/><p>Faster than Ahsoka thought they could, the medical team had transported Anakin back to the resolute, where he now lay in the medical bay, just as still as he was before.</p><p>And Ahsoka still stood by his bedside, and she stood there until she was told to rest, by an exhausted looking Obi-Wan. Who settled down into the chair beside Anakin’s bed, and told her that he would wake her up should anything change, and especially if Anakin woke up.</p><p>He told her not to worry.</p><p>But he never commed her, so she worried.</p><hr/><p>The first thing Anakin noticed was that the blanket he was under was warm. And the weight was comforting. There was a strange beeping noise that was coming from his right side, but he couldn’t find the strength to open his eyes and figure out what it was.</p><p>But the beeping persisted, and eventually Anakin opened his eyes.</p><p>There was a large window in front of the bed that he was laying in that looked out over what looked like an endless city. Speeders flew past the window, but they were so small that they looked like bugs.</p><p>Where in the galaxy would he find such a place like this?</p><p>The lighting in the room was warm, and sunlight streamed in through the large window as well. He looked down at his chest and his clothes. His shirt was white and soft, with sleeves coming down to about halfway down his arms.</p><p>He pushed himself up, noting that the mattress felt soft underneath his hands. He pulled his hands out from underneath the blanket, his eyes going wide at the sight of his right hand that was a prosthetic.</p><p>It felt natural, normal, as normal as his left one. Like he always had it.</p><p>But he couldn’t remember how he got it. Was he born without a right arm? Did he lose his right arm?</p><p>How did he lose it?</p><p>“Ah, Master Skywalker!” A voice exclaimed from the doorway of the room.</p><p>Anakin looked up and watched as a young woman with green skin and a black dress came in. She had diamond marking across the bridge of her nose and on her cheeks, bright blue eyes that looked right at him, and a soft smile on her lips.</p><p>“Ahsoka will be relived to see that you are awake, but first I have to have you answer some questions before you can have any visitors,” she explained.</p><p>Anakin didn’t know what she was talking about, but he nodded anyway.</p><p>“Can you tell me your name?” She asked as she read off of a datapad.</p><p>“Anakin Skywalker,” Anakin replied quickly.</p><p>“And do you know how old you are?”</p><p>“Twenty-two.”</p><p>“And do you know where you are?” The woman asked as she continued to look at her datapad.</p><p>And then she looked up after a moment of silence had passed between the two of them.</p><p>“Do you know who the Chancellor of the republic is?”</p><p>More silence.</p><p>She dropped the datapad down at her side, a worried expression on her face as she looked at him.</p><p>He wished he could help her.</p><p>“Do you know who I am?” She asked.</p><p>But he had no idea who she was.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>to be continued....</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Barris!” Ahsoka exclaimed as she jumped out of her seat.</p><p>“How is he? Can we go see him?”</p><p>Barris slowed down, looking away from Ahsoka and then down at the floor, before looking back up at her again.</p><p>From where he was sitting, Obi-Wan couldn’t see her face, but he could tell from the way that Ahsoka’s shoulders fell that whatever news she had, it wasn’t good.</p><p>He tentatively reached out into his bond with Anakin, to see if he could sense that something was off.</p><p>He couldn’t pick up much- but Obi-Wan figured that Anakin might still be sedated. Or perhaps asleep.</p><p>That would explain Ahsoka’s slumped shoulders, and the way that Barris excused herself to go and speak with Master Che.</p><p>Obi-Wan watched as the two of the walked away, Barris quickly waving goodbye to Ahsoka before following Vokara out of the waiting room and down the hall.</p><p>“Not the news you were hoping for, padawan?” Obi-Wan asked as Ahsoka slumped into the seat next to him and huffed.</p><p>“She said he’s awake, but he can’t have any visitors yet,” Ahsoka mumbled as she crossed her arms over her chest.</p><p>Ahsoka’s words made Obi-Wan wonder, as he stroked his beard, why he hadn’t sensed that Anakin was awake earlier? He tried reaching out again through their bond but didn’t pick up on much of anything at all.</p><p>How strange.</p><p>“Master,” Ahsoka said, her voice softer and smaller than it was moments ago.</p><p>“I have a bad feeling about this.”</p><p> “About what?” Obi-Wan asked and Ahsoka shrugged.</p><p>“I don’t know… something just feels off,” replied and sighed.</p><p>“Well, perhaps we shall get some answers soon. After all, if Anakin is awake, they are probably just checking to make sure that he’s well enough for us to be able to visit him,” Obi-Wan pointed out and Ahoska relaxed slightly.</p><p>“Yeah, you’re probably right,” she said with a smile and looked up at him.</p><p>And so, the two of them waited, watching as other people moved about the waiting room. Watching as others were admitted to the halls of healing and others left.</p><p>But Barris and Vokara didn’t come back out, and Obi-Wan could tell that Ahsoka was growing more and more impatient by the minute.</p><p>“Why don’t you go on a walk, I will comm you if anything happens,” Obi-Wan suggested and Ahsoka hesitated before standing up.</p><p>“Promise?” She asked and Obi-Wan nodded.</p><p>“Of course, I’m sure Anakin will be eager to see you once he is able to,” Obi-Wan replied.</p><p>“Okay, but you have to comm me right away, Master Obi-Wan,” Ahsoka said as she turned to leave, and he smiled.</p><p>“I will, Ahsoka.”</p><p>She gave him a small smirk before turning to leave, taking one last glace at him before heading back out towards the rest of the temple.</p><p>“Obi-Wan,” Vokara’s voice said from the other end of the room, and he turned to face her, getting ready to comm Ahsoka to call her back.</p><p>“You need to come with me,” she continued, her expression unreadable.</p><p>“I’m sure whatever is going to be said can be said in front of Anakin’s padawan as well,” Obi-Wan replied but she shook her head, one of her lekku falling away from her shoulder.</p><p>“Not yet,” she replied and Obi-Wan slowly lowered his arm back down.</p><p>“You need to… to speak with Anakin on your own first,” she explained softly, and Obi-Wan knew that something had to be serious, as she referred to Anakin by his first name instead of his last.</p><p>Obi-Wan got up from the chair he was sitting in and followed her down the hall silently.</p><p>The floors and walls were a cool white, and the air smelled faintly of bacta and disinfectant. It was something that Obi-Wan had gotten used to by now- having been through these halls more times than he could count at this point.</p><p>Eventually, she stopped a door and stood there for a moment, her hand coming up to open it, but she didn’t.</p><p>“Is something wrong, Master Che?” Obi-Wan asked, his heart sinking into his stomach.</p><p>She turned to face Obi-Wan, and it was the first time he had never seen her look so nervous.</p><p>“What did Dooku do to Anakin on Naboo?” She asked him softly.</p><p>“He- he was electrocuted,” Obi-Wan recalled, remembering the way that he stepped over Anakin’s unconscious body on the way to pursue Dooku through the halls of the palace.</p><p>“Ah, I see,” Vokara replied and then pressed her lips together in a thin line.</p><p>“And are you aware of the fact that electrocution can cause brain injuries?” She asked him next.</p><p>A pause.</p><p>“Yes,” Obi-Wan replied, his voice hardly above a whisper.</p><p>“What kind of brain injury? How bad is it?” Obi-Wan asked, countless possibilities running through his mind.</p><p>Vokara sighed and looked at him with the saddest expression he had seen from her in a long, long time.</p><p>“He’s got amnesia, Obi-Wan, he doesn’t remember anything,” she told him softly.</p><p>“No, no, that’s impossible,” Obi-Wan replied, shaking his head.</p><p>There was no way that Anakin could forget him.</p><p>Forget everything.</p><p>“I have to see this for myself,” Obi-Wan told her firmly and she stepped aside, waving the door open so that he could enter the room.</p><p>“Then you shall,” she replied, and Obi-Wan walked in.</p><p>On the bed sat Anakin, who was looking out the window, facing away from Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan stood in the doorway, waiting for Anakin to turn around and make some kind of joke at him, ask him what happened to Dooku.</p><p>Ask him about where Ahsoka was.</p><p>But he didn’t.</p><p>“Anakin?” Obi-Wan called out softly, taking a step forward into the room.</p><p>Anakin turned to face him, but there wasn’t a smile on his face. Just a cautious expression as he silently watched as Obi-Wan walked over and sat down in the chair next to the bed.</p><p>He stared at Anakin, looking for anything- any kind of spark in his eyes, a smile, a scowl, something.</p><p>Anything.</p><p>There was nothing.</p><p>“Do you know who I am?” Obi-Wan asked after a moment of silence.</p><p>Anakin flinched at the question, looking away and back out the window before turning back to face Obi-Wan again.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he replied.</p><p>“I don’t know who you are.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thanks for reading! i'm sonderwalker on tumblr as well!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His body felt numb as Obi-Wan took a step back from Anakin, his eyes wide. He tried to hide his expression under a mask of neutrality, but all he needed to do was look at Anakin’s face to be able to tell that he had failed.</p><p>“You don’t know who I am?” Obi-Wan whispered, fighting against the crushing weight in his chest from the revelation.</p><p>Anakin shook his head moving further away from Obi-Wan, almost as if he were afraid of him.</p><p>“N-no, but I’m pretty sure that you know who I am,” Anakin stammered and Obi-Wan sighed and nodded.</p><p>“I’ve known you… for quite a long time,” he revealed, whispering softly as he realized that all of his early memories with a young Anakin, a teenage Anakin, an Anakin was now an adult and knight, were only in his mind now.</p><p>The person in front of him had no idea about any of it.</p><p>“How long?” Anakin asked, tilting his head to the side out of curiosity.</p><p>“About twelve years or so,” Obi-Wan replied and Anakin’s eyes widened.</p><p>“That’s… that’s a long time,” he trailed off and looked away, down at the white bedsheets that covered his legs before looking back up at Obi-Wan.</p><p>“Since I was nine?”</p><p>Obi-Wan nodded. “Since you were nine.”</p><p>“That’s…” Anakin trailed off and looked down again. “That’s a long time,”</p><p>“It is,” Obi-Wan responded with a heavy sigh and his shoulders slumped as he hunched forward, running a hand through his beard.</p><p>“Sorry,” Anakin mumbled as he crossed his arms tightly over his chest before looking down and studying his prosthetic with a curious expression on his face.</p><p>“Did- did I always have a-“he began to ask, holding his right hand up to examine it more in the light.</p><p>“No,” Obi-Wan replied and sighed again. “You lost your right arm in an accident when you were nineteen.”</p><p>“Oh,” Anakin replied simply, lowering his arm again, curling and uncurling his fingers.</p><p>“Sorry,” Anakin said again and looked back at Obi-Wan with a sheepish expression on his face.</p><p>“Why do you keep apologizing?” Obi-Wan asked, afraid that he already knew the answer.</p><p>“Well, I can tell that you’re clearly upset about…me. And I’ve probably been asking you stupid questions,” Anakin pointed out with a shrug, his casual attitude towards his self-deprecation only made Obi-Wan’s heart ache even more.</p><p>“No, no, Anakin, I’m not upset with you,” Obi-Wan quickly responded. “It’s just… a lot to take in, as you said.”</p><p>“Right,” Anakin mumbled, looking away from Obi-Wan again, not saying a single word.</p><p>The silence between them was tense, and for once, with Anakin, Obi-Wan didn’t know what to say. There were no words of comfort he could offer, and while he thought about reaching his arm out and gently squeezing Anakin’s shoulder as a way of physical comfort, he realized that it would probably make him uncomfortable.</p><p>To Obi-Wan, the action seemed normal- it was something that he often did with Anakin to ground him, or just to express his affection. But in return, he understood that if someone who was a stranger to him was that affectionate, it might be off putting instead of comforting.</p><p>So, he kept his hands in his lap, forcing them to stay still as his mind raced, trying to figure out what he was going to say to Ahsoka.</p><p>“Who’s Ahsoka?” Anakin asked, breaking the silence as he turned to face Obi-Wan.</p><p>“What?” Obi-Wan asked in return, taken aback by the question, trying to figure out how Anakin knew what he was thinking about.</p><p>And then he remembered the way that when Anakin had first come to the temple, how he seemed to be able to pick up on other people’s thoughts and emotions with ease. It was a skill that took years to master, but Anakin seemed to have little trouble being able to infer what others around him were thinking. That was, until Obi-Wan had begun to teach him how to shield, how to block out other people’s thoughts and feelings from reaching his own- only reaching out when he needed to. He had told him that it was rude to peer into things that he shouldn’t.</p><p>But Anakin had probably forgotten that conversation, and Obi-Wan was probably projecting at least some of his thoughts through their now frazzled bond.</p><p>He sighed- he wasn’t exactly looking forward to having that talk again with Anakin.</p><p>“The name just… popped into my head,” Anakin said cautiously.</p><p>“I see,” Obi-Wan replied, knowing that he had probably been the reason behind that.</p><p>“Ahsoka… she’s someone you cared deeply about,” Obi-Wan began, feeling strange about using past tense to describe Ahsoka when he knew that she was sitting down the hall.</p><p>But to Anakin, she was a complete stranger.</p><p>“How come?”</p><p>“She was your apprentice,” Obi-Wan elaborated and Anakin’s eyes widened.</p><p>“Apprentice? I’m only twenty-one!” Anakin replied as his eyes widened at the revelation.</p><p>“Yes, and you are a very talented twenty-one-year-old, Anakin,” Obi-Wan explained, wondering how much of his lessons he still seemed to remember.</p><p>“You mean… I was.” Anakin corrected and Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“I was a very talented twenty-one-year-old.” Anakin explained.</p><p>“We don’t know how much you have forgotten,” Obi-Wan replied quickly, refusing to jump to any sort of conclusion.</p><p>“It could very well be that you remember many of your lessons, but have forgotten other experiences such as social ones, conversations you’ve once had with others.”</p><p>“Maybe,” Anakin mumbled with a shrug, clearly not believing Obi-Wan.</p><p>“Where’s Ahsoka?” He asked after a moment of silence passed between the two of them.</p><p>“Is she nearby? What does she look like? How long have I known her?” Anakin asked quickly, his voice picking up speed as the questions continued to come in.</p><p>“Would you like to speak to her?” Obi-Wan asked and Anakin hesitated.</p><p>“Does she want to speak to me?” He asked in return, a cautious expression on his face.</p><p>“This is probably really hard for her- and I wouldn’t want to make things worse,” he added on and Obi-Wan shook his head.</p><p>“She’s down the hall,” Obi-Wan replied, trying his best to give Anakin a warm smile.</p><p>“I can go and get her if you’d like, I’m sure she’d love to speak with you.”</p><p>He waited for Anakin to return the smile.</p><p>He tried. But it didn’t really work. So instead, he nodded and Obi-Wan stood up from his chair, reaching out to pat Anakin’s shoulder, only to bring his hand back to his side at the last second before turning and walking out of the room without another word instead.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ahahaha sad time<br/>I have a really strong headcanon that since Anakin is so powerful with the force he can just kind of pick up on other peoples thoughts or emotions if he isn’t shielding properly. And when he was a kid before coming to the temple would use the skill as a defense mechanism. <br/>thank you for reading!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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